We survived David’s month long Green Belt / Six Sigma training from 24th August – 25th September 09.The daily sessions were interesting and full of fun, however I could not help but pen down a few lines the way I saw it.

Here it goes..

LEAN only meant slim before David came along,Gradually FMEA & DMAIC happened

And life was still a song.

MEAN was only what Deepak could be

Till I attended the session on Understanding Quality!

MODE of transport acquired a larger than life form

And I learnt that mode was the highest among the norm

MEDIAN was the mid point &, mercifully, still is

As definite as cola never losing its fizz!

EVOLVE evolved & so did we all

In learning & in stature we did grow tall.

As I write this, I see a pop-up on my screen

The Evolve Headstart is the one I mean.

  Mandy loves fish; I promised I’d get him someIn mustard sauce or as machcher jhol

The brainstorming is still not done.

As Mandy dreams of fish, it’s FISH BONE that worries me

Dear Ishikawa, I face Hamlet’s dilemma – to be or not to be!

Where else in the world can ‘standard’ have a ‘deviation’

What more is now left to create confusion?

It’s not OEG I blame, I only blame me

What prompted me to enroll for GB!?

Great Britain you thought was what I meant?

No dears, think Problem & Goal Statement!

Affinity was what we shared with people

Till they put it in a Diagram

I cannot remember all this, no matter how much I cram.

Process was procedure & geography had maps

Till they blended it to a Process Map

When you do a SIPOC, you think COPIS

What NNS & I think is we’ll just give it a miss!

  Reproduction was a chapter in Biology, I really liked to readTill Repeatability appeared on my slate

And Reproducibility made me plead.

Stop the session, I wanted to cry, take me out of here

Throw me out of class David, I just cannot bear!

Then I remembered my eleven years as a teacher

And the torture I must have inflicted

On those hapless souls who had no knack for language

And preferred numbers instead!

Like my trainer today, I thought so too

It’s never the student’s failure; it’s got to do with you.

So I tried to convert Einstein to Shakespeare & Ramanujan to a Keats

And took pride when they could rhyme meets with greets!

Divine vengeance, they say, will sometime plague us all

Pride, dear girl, always goeth before a fall.

Pass over Andy darling, it’s Anderson Darling’s day

Are you done with rhetoric or is there more to say?

Stop stop don’t go, I may have Scattered my Plot

But you have a Box to Plot in, a Run to Chart

And in all Probability, you may even reach the mart!

  You can’t leave me mid way (& I know midway is mew!)Six Sigma is a lil familiar & yet so alien, so new.

Null Hypothesis says by default everything is good

So why do we need the Alternate, tell me, if you could!

If you thought Excel was bad, you didn’t really know

Mini Tab takes the cake, even when you go by the flow.

Would Beethoven need a GB session

What about Mozart

NNS nods her sage head, they were a class apart.

So what am I doing here

When meditation is all I want to do?

The Women’s issues I want to fight for

May not need a GB too.

If poetry is what I think when you give us data points

Maybe I should call it a day

Not everything is in scope for all

Out of scope is what Quick Gun would say.

If doing a project requires so much logic

There’s no improvement that I can see

My appraisal may suffer; my friends may mock

But this is the best I can be.

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